Worst version of myself

"It feels like I have become  worst version  of myself. I wonder what would be  worst to live like a monster  or die a good man. But there are worse  things than dying. . Shame.. shame isn't  an option  for me.. and I lack the construction  for committing suicide."

A mashup of dialogues from 'You've  got mail', 

'Shutter Island', 

'True Detective'.

Nostalgia: the pain from an old wound

This is probably  the most popular lines from the popular and critically acclaimed episode of Mad Men. It almost  brought me to tears. But probably  you wouldn't  get the whole meaning  or why those  words were so powerful without  a little background  on Don Draper's life. Anyway, here are the lines.

Draper: "Teddy told me that in Greek nostalgia literally means, the pain from an old wound. Its a twinge, in your heart. Far more powerful then memory alone. This device isn't a spaceship, its a time machine. It goes backwards, forwards. It takes us to a place, where we ache to go again. It's not called "The Wheel". Its called "The Carousel". It lets us travel in a way a child travels. Round and round, and then back home again. To a place where we know we are loved."
-- Don pitching "The Carousel" to Kodak, in The Wheel

Here's the youtube link to the video

PTE Academic: my story and advices for fellow test takers (My overall score is 87)

Let’s have a look at my PTE Academic Test Taker Score Report first.

My overall score is 87. Listening 87, Reading 88,  Speaking 90,  Writing 90.

As you can see it’s pretty amazing. In fact, I couldn’t believe it myself (much like the Red Wedding or  Jon Snow’s death in Game of Thrones ). I needed IELTS equivalent of 7: PTE 65.

I was trying to get 79 in each band, IELTS equivalent of 8, maximum point I could claim for English language ability for immigration purposes. I was quite confident with my Listening and Speaking that I would get 79 but Reading and Writing, I wasn’t that confident.

Since first learning from a friend that Australian Immigration would accept other English Tests besides IELTS, it got me curious. Because last time I took IELTS, I missed out in writing: 6.5. Frankly speaking, I was quite disappointed, because I knew that I  wrote the best I could for IELTS and I didn’t see much room for improvement, at least not given the time/ effort I could spare.

Anyway, I got to know about PTE academic. It seemed quite interesting (compared to IELTS, of course) and learned that it is completely computer based, even writing. At first, I had my doubts about that, then I saw some official videos from PTE explaining how the software for assessing writing works.

So I bought the Gold Preparation Kit (includes 2 scored practice test and some sample questions as well).  I took the first scored test without any preparation and all my scores were in 60s, overall 62. It gave me an idea where I needed to improve. I started studying accordingly. Had to improve a lot on my spelling (boy, that was really a doozy). Another problematic thing was my typing speed. I never learned to type properly, always 2-3 fingers typist. In IELTS, it didn’t matter, but for PTE I would have to type for the writing part. 200-300 words in 20 minutes. Now that’s nothing for an efficient or for an average typist. Even I could type that much in 20 minutes, but the issue was that I gotta think and organize my thoughts on the topics first, plus I gotta spare a few minutes to check my writings.

I took the second scored practice test after few weeks of preparing. And I did quite well, overall was 79 (IELTS 8), Listening 80, Reading 78,  Speaking 89,  Writing 75. Only then it hit me, why not try to get 79 in each band, it seemed plausible, because I knew I could do better in writing, since in the scored test I didn’t even get to finish the second essay, let alone check it. and in reading, I probably need to speed up things and a little bit of luck.

So I started to concentrate fully on my writings. Fortunately, in my campus library, the two official books on PTE were available. Those two books were really helpful.

After the test, I was quite excited, coz I felt I did good on writing essays and despite several mistakes that I made, I was giving it a 50/50 chance of getting 79. So you can imagine, how it was like when I saw the report: disbelief  ( Even now, much like Jon Snow’s death).

Now that I have taken the test and got my results, here’s some of the advices for fellow English test takers:

1. Give  IELTS a middle finger, burn all the materials, books on IELTS and when you are all warmed up from the heat, start preparing for PTE. ( Trust me, I know people who had a much better level of English than I, who had to take IELTS several times to get 7 each, especially writing, let alone 8)
2. You don’t have to speak like Barack Obama to get a good score in speaking. I am not a smooth talker even in my native language, let alone English. For PTE, your accent doesn’t matter, as long as you speak clearly and fluently.
3. For the writing part, keep in mind that “ your opinion doesn't matter”. So don’t try to be smart on a topic. Just write about the topic clearly and logically.
4. Must write between 200 and 300 words. You will loose mark even if you write 199 or 301.
5. You will lose mark for spelling mistake, so always spare few minutes to check your writing.
6. Time is your biggest enemy in the test. So speed up and don’t waste too much time thinking. Especially for reading and writing parts. In reading part, questions aren't individually timed so keep up the pace. Don’t waste too much time on fill in the gaps. Read thru quickly and answer them quickly. Go with your gut feeling if it confuses you.
7. One of the things to remember is that there is room for ‘native like error’. So don’t panic unless you aim to get 90 out of 90.
8. Again, time is your enemy in writing part. Do not waste time on thinking too much even if the topic is hard. Surely you know something about it. Write down the things on the notebook and start writing.
9. I figured that with my typing speed, It’s best to write just about 200 words, even if I feel like I can write more. So my target was  to write just 200+ words. Then I would have time to check my writings.  But even with that, I couldn’t check my second essay properly, coz I was tempted to write ‘better’ ( as in  write in words that won’t come to naturally/ instinctively ), so avoid that. ( my spelling score is 52).
10. Lexical resources: Just one of the  components of writing part. So if you don’t have a lot of ‘academic’, ‘tough’, ‘unusual’ words in your essays, not a big problem. most important things are writing in a logical way, grammatically correct sentences, answer the questions asked in the prompt, state your opinion clearly.
11. Essays must have an intro, body and conclusion. This is important.In some cases, intro and conclusion are almost the same, just try to rephrase it conclusion.
12. Try to develop a sort of template of your own to write the argumentative essays. There are generic sentences with good vocabulary that you can use for different topics.
13. Again, I would like to reiterate that you don’t have to know a lot of academic words, your opinion doesn’t matter, write to the point. Trust me on that, If  PTE was supposed to be a test of that sort, I wouldn’t have got 87. Definitely, I got lucky to get that much, but even without the luck, I am now confident that I would get 79.
14. Having said that, there are some things that will help to get a better score. In my opinion, good grasps on general knowledge helps to answer questions in the test as some of the answers you kinda know intuitively. Plus people from a science background tend to do better because some of the topics, specially in reading, they already have sort of primary knowledge. ( I am not sure I expressed myself clearly).
15. And above everything, consider this as a test, just like any other test, you will have to practice a lot if you want a good score. Consider my case, on the first scored test I scored 62. Surely my knowledge of English didn’t dramatically improve within a few weeks. That proves my point. Treat it like a test, there’s way around to get a good score without knowing a lot.
16. 2 Official books from  PTE are quite detailed and helpful. So if you can get your hands on those, hold them tight.
17. If you scored your desired score in PTE but not in IELTS, spread the words.
18. And lastly, to all IELTS examiner: Adios Motherfuckers

Here's the download link for some PTE materials, ebooks etc..